


Just Today

by RumbleFish14



Series: Cut Scenes [8]
Category: Shameless (US) RPF
Genre: Awkward Tension, Confessions, Holidays, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Season/Series 11, Thanksgiving Dinner, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mosher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbleFish14/pseuds/RumbleFish14
Summary: Noel sees Cameron at Whole Foods just before the Thanksgiving holiday
Relationships: Cameron Monaghan/Lauren Searle, Layla Alizada/Noel Fisher, Noel Fisher & Cameron Monaghan
Series: Cut Scenes [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310828
Comments: 20
Kudos: 52





	Just Today

**Author's Note:**

> A little something that was supposed to be done way before thanksgiving but with medical complications it took awhile longer 
> 
> Prompt from a friend on Facebook, hope YOU like it
> 
> Happy Holidays

Just Today  
(one shot)

Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving was a nightmare. The lines were extremely long, the customers bitchy and impatient and liked to overstock on items they already had multiples of. The shelves were bare, leaving the items you needed long gone and you just had to make due with what you had. It was just like shopping on Christmas Eve for presents. It was shit that should have been done at least a week ahead of whatever holiday was coming up, yet Cameron kept putting it off and putting it off until he had less than a day to figure it all out. 

Thanksgiving this year would be a little different thanks to Covid-19. Cameron normally spent the holidays with his mother, they'd cook together and dance, drink a little and exchange stories since the last holiday called them together. Only this time, since he'd been back to work it was a little risky to travel and be around her, which they both hated. She wasn't by any means old, but she was at risk all the same and she was one thing he wouldn't risk. 

Unlike last year for the holiday, he had a girlfriend this time around, Lauren. They'd been together for about half a year, so it was still new and they were slowly working their way through it all. Like every couple, they had their problems but nothing big, yet. She was with her family in Florida for the holiday, leaving him alone

Alone was fine, only now he was scrambling to make something of it. Having a nightcap and going to bed at nine might seem appealing, but he just wasn't feeling it this year. He wanted food and family and friends and traditions. And he could do it alone, just smaller portions. 

Which left him at Whole Foods, waiting in line to pick up the groceries he ordered online before he made the drive over. He got what he would normally buy, just enough for one, maybe two people so he could pork out on it later after that after dinner nap. The line wasn't long, but with the holidays the number of employees was lacking, making things go a little slower. 

While he waited, Cameron dug into his pocket for his phone and scrolled through social media. Fans were asking what his plans were, noting that Lauren wasn't with him, which led to speculation about him and Noel being together for the holiday. That seemed to be the outcome everyone else wanted, him not so much. That ship has sailed months ago, no pun intended. 

After being on and off with a married man for almost a decade, it had to end eventually. Between working on and off through the years, then being apart, then Noel having a wife and them both hiding in the closet, it was bound to fail. And it had. Earlier in the year, just after season ten of shameless ended, they called it quits. 

Being friends after would be ideal, but he found it to be too difficult. His mind and his heart had been on the same page for so long, loving him and wanting him all those years, it was nearly impossible to see him in any other way than his lover, his partner. Now as his ex. Remaining friends hadn't happened and after a while, they both moved on, took some much needed space away from each other and managed to keep their careers while they were at it. 

The truth was, Cameron missed him. Not just for the sex, even when that had been more than exceptional. He missed the little things that mattered the most. The sweet texts, the stolen kisses, the weekends they spent together locked in some no-tell motel away from the world and all their problems. He missed the heart to heart talks, talks of the future, of their love and feelings and what they wouldn't give to be together. He missed that the most. 

Thinking about it now hurt a little but a smile appeared on his lips all the same. Those had been some of the happiest times of his life and even though it ended in a different way then they would have wanted, he wouldn't go back and do it any differently. Even if he tried, he knew they'd end up in the same place they were now, apart. 

Not wanting to appear on social media and have someone tag his location and create more speculation, he logged off all his accounts. He pulled up Candy Crush and played until he heard some shuffling footsteps behind him. He didn't react, not even as the sound of a camera being opened made it to his ears, he kept his head down and hoped whoever it was would respect his privacy. 

"Hey, aren't you that Shameless kid?" Said the person with the camera. 

Cameron could hear the amusement in that familiar voice and smiled behind his mask. His phone was shut off and slipped into his jean pocket as he turned and saw Noel behind him, camera at the ready, his eyes crinkled in the corner as he tried and failed to contain his smile. Even blocked by the mask, Cameron could see it from a mile away. 

"You scared the piss outta me." Cameron said as he faked trying to beat him up. Noel's camera was safely away and it was just them. "You stalkin me how, Fisher?"

Noel snorted. "You wish. No, had to get a few last minute things. Work has been crazy. You?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Cameron took his cart and moved forward as the line shuffled. Noel followed, keeping a safe distance away. "Had a change of plans actually. Trying to adjust."

It was easy to fall into a conformable conversation about random shit like holidays and plans. They faked it enough over the years to trick the entire world about what they meant to each other and were damn good at it. They'd trade tidbits of information, say happy holidays and split like they always did. Only this time they wouldn't make plans to meet up later on. 

"Not found to your mom's?" Noel asked, keeping his eyes forward. 

Cameron appreciated him asking. "I didn't want to risk it. Not since we keep getting shut down over covid. The last thing she needs is to get sick."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good. I'm sorry."

Together or apart, Cameron couldn't stop looking at him. Especially from the side, even with the mask covering half his face, he was still breathtakingly beautiful. It was hard not to stare and he had to force his eyes away every few seconds or risk being caught. 

"Thanks, but it's okay. Hopefully by Christmas it'll be safer. If not, she's liable to come on her own." Cameron smiled at the very thought, knowing his mother would do exactly that if she didn't get to see him soon. "It'll be a quiet holiday, but I'm still gonna make the best out of it."

"No Lauren?" 

There it was. He wondered how long it would take for Noel to ask. Ever since they went public, Noel hadn't said a word on the subject. Not a peep. It was clear he didn't want to know anything, or just hoped it was all for publicity, or that it wouldn't last. It was clear it had some effect on him all the same, Cameron saw it each time her name was mentioned, or someone asked if they had plans, or tagged them both online. 

It was eating at him just like Noel having Layla ate at him all those years. 

"No, she's with her family this time. We were working all the way up until today anyways so she made other plans." Cameron turned at the right time and their eyes met. Blue ones were filled with sadness, jealousy maybe. "How about you? Spending time with Layla's family again?"

Noel broke eye contact and shook his head. "No, she's with her family. We're uh...going through a bit of a rough patch these days."

Cameron that thrum inside him, that nervous energy stashed away from moments like this, moments when she was away and they could just be them. He knew it wouldn't happen like that, it couldn't, but that didn't keep his body from responding accordingly. 

"Hell, it's all a big rough patch." Noel admitted under his breath, wondering if Cameron heard it at all. "It'll just be me."

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. 

Those words flowed powerfully into his mind. Reminding him that it wasn't his responsibility to console him anymore, to talk about what happened. It wasn't his business anymore and yet, he knew he would ask, he knew he would stick his nose where it didn't belong and he fucking knew where that would end up. 

For a while, he didn't ask. They remained silent while the line shortened and they loved up with their baskets. They shared quick looks at first, then longing glances that had his entire body throbbing with some kind of need, sexual, emotional, he wasn't sure but it was there and it wasn't going away any time soon. Not even as their carts were filled with their orders, the money was paid and they were headed towards the door. 

Then he had to ask. He just had to. 

"I don't suppose you want to come for dinner tomorrow, do you?" Cameron asked, knowing he sounded just as afraid as he felt. 

Noel's eyebrows went all the way up, showing his surprise. "Just the two of us?"

Cameron nodded shyly. "Yeah, I mean, we are still friends, right?" Thankfully, Noel nodded instantly, calming that rising rejection. "We are both alone. It makes sense to spend it together."

It was a risk, something could definitely happen, something they wouldn't be able to crawl out of. But it felt wrong not to ask, it felt right to be together, even just as friends. 

"It would just be a friend thing, you know?" Cameron continued when Noel didn't say anything after a moment. "Call it friendsgiving."

"I guess it doesn't make sense for us to both cook alone, does it?" Noel smiled when Cameron's eyes crinkled. "Count me in."

Relief hit him first, then excitement, a dash of lust mixed in the middle, but fear stuck out the most. Fear of opportunity. They'd be alone, together all alone. A million and one things would be possible and no one would ever know. It was dangerous and exciting and yet he wouldn't take the offer back to save his own life.

"Alright, sounds good." Cameron gave a nervous, giddy laugh that Noel mimicked. "You wanna come over early? Gotta pop the turkey in first, then get the rest ready."

That thrum was turned all the way up, making it hard to hear over his own heartbeat. It had been so long since they were alone together, since they didn't have to hide every aspect of their friendship, where every move meant something it wasn't. They could just be them, their normal, flirty, happy selves. 

"I'll be there bright and early." Noel assured with a smile. "I'll bring what I got."

Cameron grinned. "You'd better."

After a somewhat tense laugh, fraught with meaning, they clasped hands and brought each other into one of those guys hugs. Only it didn't last seconds and Cameron would be lying if he said he didn't take that opportunity to smell him, his nose pressed right into his neck. It brought everything back, including feelings he thought he'd gotten over. It made it nearly impossible to pull away. 

"You know where to find me." Cameron said as he pulled away. He took a few steps back and it felt like walking through quicksand. Each step away was harder than the last. "Later."

"Later."

***

As soon as Cameron got home, he put the groceries away, made sure to leave the still thawing turkey in the refrigerator and darted around his house like a wild animal, cleaning everything and anything he saw. 

It wasn't on the hoarding side of messy, but he'd been so caught up with long hours at work that he didn't keep his house as clean as he normally would. Clothes were piled around, flung wherever he tossed them off, shoes too. Clean laundry stuffed in baskets pushed into the corner of his bedroom, hats and shoes tossed aside without being put away, his messy bed with sheets falling off one side. His kitchen table was stacked with their scripts from work, his laptop and computer laid out along with several notebooks or pieces of paper he used to jot down ideas and suggestions for the show and his character. Dishes lay forgotten in the sink as well as the dishwasher, items scattered the counter tops, take-out overstuffing the trash can. 

It took over three hours to clean it all up into something livable. Dirty dishes put in the washer, already running through a cycle. Items cleared off the counter, the scrubbed down for food preparation, the trash taken out and the can cleaned with another bag waiting. His table was cleared, transferring all his work onto the desk in his office...that could wait another day. The table was then cleaned. The dirty clothes were gathered and stuffed into the washing machine to run while he took the time to put the clean clothes away. His bed was stripped and remade with clean sheets...his mind took it's time on that...as if hoping that maybe they'd make their way in at some point. 

The house was spotless, ready for company and Cameron was exhausted. He took a long, hot shower, made sure to set his alarm and fell into bed with Noel on his mind. Wondering how it would go, what might happen if anything did, or if either of them would try and stop it or welcome it like a long lost friend. His dreams weren't any kinder, there were too many "what ifs" and no time to decide.

**

Sleeping through the night hadn't worked. He woke in the middle of the night from a dream of nothing but heated skin and whispered names. Making it impossible to fall asleep. Making him afraid to fall asleep, knowing those dreams would happen all over again with endless possibilities. 

Sparing himself that torturous pleasure, Cameron got up, made his bed and hit the shower yet again to rub one out. It was a need at his point. Talking it down didn't help, reminding it that Noel wasn't his to touch anymore didn't help. Relieving himself did little to help, but it was better than nothing, it was better than letting it build until that need couldn't be contained. 

After, not feeling any less worked up, Cameron began prepping for Thanksgiving. The turkey was ready for the oven after it preheated, after being seasoned and slathered with whatever recipe his mother sent him. He drank coffee until it beeped, then slipped it inside and set the time for six hours.

Then there was a knock on the door and his heart began to race. 

With more courage than he held, Cameron took his coffee to the door, peeked out to make sure it was who he was expecting, then gave a groan the moment he saw him standing outside. He always looked his best in the morning. Sleepy mornings, his absolute favorite, from the creases from the sheets pressed into his flushed cheeks, red hair always a little resistant, his eyes, although hidden behind heavily tinted glasses, were glassy, sleepy, lidded. They resembled bedroom eyes. Ones he'd seen in his dreams. 

There was another knock and he realized he'd just been standing there, watching him through the peephole. 

"Coming!" He called and unlocked the door and opened it. Noel's eyebrow was lifted in question, but his mouth upturned into a smirk. "Sorry, not awake just yet. Come in."

Noel opened the screen door and walked in with plastic bags laced up his arms from his wrist to his elbow. "Yeah, that makes two of us."

After the door was closed and locked, Cameron led them towards the kitchen. Noel slid his sunglasses up above his head, resting in red hair and as he pulled items out of those bags, Cameron just watched him again. It was as if it had been years since he was able to study him so closely, so thoroughly. It felt like that time apart aged him, made him look more his age, which was something Cameron had never seen. Noel always acted at least a decade younger than his given age, it was something he loved the most about him. Now that age caught up to him. 

"You're staring." Noel said without stopping. He piled all the bags into one and rolled them into a ball. "What, I nick myself shaving again?"

Cameron's cheeks heated and he rubbed them against his shoulder to stop it from spreading to his neck. Noel was always so observant. "No, not that I can see."

Noel turned, not quite smiling but the potential was there. "Then why are you looking at me?"

His normal response would be something along the lines of him not needing a reason. Only now, he did need a reason. "Just looking."

"At what?"

"At you." Cameron replied honestly. They didn't have much left together, but they could save time and be honest. "You're different."

"Am I now?" Noel smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms loosely crossed. "How's that?"

"I don't know, really. I guess that's what I was trying to figure out."

They shared a smile, unforced, comfortable, familiar. 

"You seem different too, by the way. I don't want to be mean and say older, but you're definitely not the same as you used to be."

Cameron chuckled. "Funny, I was thinking the same about you. I guess it's easy to see when we're not neck deep in each other."

The shared smile slipped, on both sides, into something else. Something a little uncertain, but honest. 

"Yeah, we miss a lot when we are focused on each other."

They shared a moment when anything and everything could have been said and done. They could have talked about their past, about their mistakes, they could have rushed together and kissed like their lives depended on it. But they didn't. They stared at each other into that fleeting moment passed them by. 

"Coffee? I think it's still hot." Cameron asked and made him a cup before he could say yes or no. "I put the turkey in just before you got here."

Noel accepted the cup with a soft smile and took a drink. "Well, I didn't bring a turkey, but I have a bunch of other shit we can make if you want. Mostly pie because I have a sweet tooth."

Cameron smiled. "Yeah, I know. And I have a few too, along with everything else. You wanna get started?"

"Yeah, we should." Noel's eyes slipped down, stopping right at his mouth. 

Without realizing it, his eyes slipped down as well, landing on Noel's lips and he took a step forward, then another until he cleared half the room and Noel was within reach. Blue eyes searched for his own and held them when they were found. Cameron lifted his hand, so close to gripping his chin for a kiss, but stopped.

"This is gonna be harder than I thought." He whispered. Noel didn't smile or laugh his way out of all that tension. "Why didn't it feel this difficult before?"

"This is the first time we've been alone in a while, Cam. It was bound to spark something again." Noel licked his own lips, breathing in as Cameron exhaled, sharing heated breath. "I thought about it all night. Wondering what might happen if this did come up."

Cameron nodded. "Me too."

Something was happening. He could feel it and he couldn't stop it. Or maybe he couldn't and just didn't want to. 

"I hope something came to you about what to do because I drew a blank." Noel took a step closer and their noses brushed just like they always used to. "There are a million reasons why this can't happen."

"Yeah, I think there are more than a million." Cameron breathed, watching the hair on Noel's hair sway to the side. He finally touched his cheek, angling his face up just a little. "This can't happen, and yet I can't stop."

When their eyes connected yet again, there was an understanding. One that came natural to them, one that said just once, just one last time, just while it's us. Cameron bent down, just as Noel lifted up, their noses pressed together fully before they each turned a different way and their lips met in a featherlight touch. One kiss that electrified his entire body. 

Noel didn’t go for another kiss. “I miss that most of all.”

Cameron nodded, tilting to the side so their noses slid together in the way that always made his knees weak. “I miss a lot of things we used to do.” He kissed him once more, then stepped back while he was still able. “We should…”

Noel nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Yeah, we should.”

They went to separate parts of the kitchen to prepare different things. Noel busied himself making the pies, making a mess while he was at it but Cameron kinda liked the way the batter dotted one side of his cheek from blending it too quickly. He peeled potatoes and eggs and all those other little things that seemed to take forever but he couldn’t keep his eyes off Noel. 

“You keep staring at me and we’ll end up kissing again.”

Cameron smirked and looked away. “I didn’t count on being this distracted. I’m actually having fun.

Noel glanced back, skiing. “Yeah, me too. It’s odd how the little things matter the most. Like cooking together or shopping or sitting down for dinner. You think you’d miss the sex the most but I don’t.”

“Yeah, me either.” He said but his eyes looked down at his ass for a moment before he forced them up to his face but Noel saw it. “I mean, I miss it but it’s not the first thing that comes to mind.”

As Cameron waited for that response, he put the potatoes in a pan of water and set it to boil on the stove, then went to the fridge to gather what he needed to make deviled eggs. When he shut the door and set the items on the counter, Noel turned around, abandoning the pie and was looking at him.

“What?” He asked, wondering if he said something to cross the line...again but Noel just shook his head. 

“It made that sex scene harder to film, right?” Noel asked, his eyes wandering over Cameron’s body. “I mean it’s the first time we’ve seen each other naked in a while. I didn’t expect to feel so…”

“Excited.” Cameron finished for him but Noel smirked and shook his head. 

“I was going to say terrifyingly but excited works too.”

Now he was blushing, great. 

“You look good, by the way.” Noel continued. “Glad you stopped shaving.”

Okay, now his face was as red as his hair was. He was never good at taking compliments, especially not ones about the state of his body or anything sexual but it was even more intense because they weren’t together anymore and Noel wasn’t supposed to like it. But he did. 

“Yeah, dad bods are in now.” Cameron mumbled, too flustered to say a simple thank you. He turned away and started mixing items for deviled eggs. 

“If that’s what you call a dad bod then I agree, they are totally in.” 

Noel did not have a dad bod. In fact, since COVID-19 and the quarantine shit, he beefed up, now packing more muscle that he was. It made it hard as hell to film that sex scene, because all he could look at was the way his firm chest tensed and gathered with sweat when they started moving around. 

That had been haunting his dreams for months.

Silence stretched around them, full of tension but they each went back to what they were doing. For about ten minutes until Cameron needed something else out of the fridge, and Noel needed something and they collided roughly. He grabbed for him before they could fall and felt Noel’s arms bunch, that muscle hard at work. 

“Easy. You okay?” Noel asked, chuckling. 

Cameron nodded but shook his head a moment later. “No, not really. I think I need some fresh air.”

“It won’t help, trust me.” Noel let him go but didn’t step back. “If it’s on your mind, it’s on your mind.”

Before he could blink and step back like he was supposed to, Cameron had a grip on his throat, much like he used to during those times where Noel needed it a little rough. Then he pulled him close until they were an inch apart. “It’s on my mind.”

Noel swallowed his groan. “I see that.”

Cameron took his hand back and turned for the sliding glass door that led to the pool but his arm was grabbed and he was being spun around so fast the room blurred. Then he was against Noel again, panting like he’d run a mile. “Noel.”

“Just shut up and kiss me. It doesn’t have to be anything else but that. Just us for today.” Noel was panting just as harshly, occasionally licking his lips as his eyes settled in Cameron’s. “Be with me today. We can cook and laugh and kiss and spend time together before we have to go back to what’s waiting for us.”

It would be easier to say no and turn away. But he couldn’t move. 

“It can’t mean anything.” Cameron said flatly, leaving no room for discussion. “Today is all we get.”

Noel rose up on his toes, gripping Cameron by the back of his neck and pulled him towards his mouth. “Whatever you want.”

With nothing else on his mind, Cameron kissed him and kissed him until he was blue in the face, then kissed him some more. Maybe they only had today, maybe even that was too much to ask, but it was happening and he was tired of fighting it. Whatever was between them was still there and would probably be there forever.

If one day was all he had, he’d take it.


End file.
